Insanity on the road...

I fear there will be lots of these kinds of posts from me, scan past them if you've heard these ditties before.

This morning I was waiting at a light, ready to turn left onto the freeway side road, my typical drive in the morning. There's been lots of highway and building construction lately. 'Lately' for Texas is basically 'always'.

An 18 wheeler pulled along the right side of the car just ahead of me in the next lane, a non-turn lane. He revved his engine a couple of times and leaned out, asking to get into the left lane to turn.

The car he was waving to ignored him, so he looked back at me and raised his hand with that 'can you help me' look we all understand. So I waved back and motioned for him to pull in ahead of me. His relief was obvious on his face and he gave me a smile and thumbs up.

When the light changed, I waited a bit, allowed him to pull in front of me, which he did quickly, waving again.

At that time, car behind me honked, loud and long. The driver was waving at me for being so stupid as to allow the trucker to cut in line. I ignored him but it burned me.

Really? These truckers are some of the best drivers out there, doing a very difficult job to support YOU and ME with construction of highways, building and tons of other stuff. That truck and it's driver represent hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars of commerce trying to get delivered, hauled, whatever.

Of course there are jerk truck drivers, just like there are jerk commuters. My experience is that they are far and away more courteous than the average guy on the way to work.

Anyway, we all made it through the light. The ninny behind me raced around to my left, zoomed up the next red light. The trucker and I cruised at the speed limit and joined him, stopped at the light. I think it was really pissed that he had to stop but we would have caught up to him at the next light anyway. Sheesh!

So today's thought on the silliness of humanity (not going to say insane but it's 'this' close ;-), RELAX!

Courtesy on the road will get us ALL where we need to be safely and in a decent mood.

Pity pudding...

Recently I was wallowing again in some pity pudding about my software skills being obsolete. It happens to me occasionally, usually after a programming problem is solved by one of my younger, more agile team mates. The problem is usually easy to fix and obvious. Just not to me at the time. ;-)

It's my problem, not my teammates. It stems from the software industry's constant drive to improve itself with better tools, operating systems, programming paradigms, etc. 

One of the byproducts of this improvement is having to learn all these new things, leaving the knowledge you gained from the last set of tools behind; binary baggage, if you get the pun. I go through another learning shift every few years or so. Most of the facts and know how I'm just getting a handle on is pushed to the side as the next set of tools roll out.

I wonder if a lot of life isn't like this and if this may be the cause for a lot of our inability to make better cultural progress. Are we constantly throwing out the baby with the bath water?

Anyone remember 'I'm OK, you're OK"? How about 'The Peter Principle' or 'Don't Worry Be Happy'. 

Though these may be shallow examples of 'principles' we wanted to understand, I think they show that we're constantly looking for an explanation of why we are what we are. If I'm OK and you're OK says it all, why do I still think you're a twit? ;-)

I think it's time for a nap. At least no one's tried to tell me naps are bad for you. Yet.

Take a little break...

That's right, I said take a break. I did NOT say knuckle down and produce more, or better or smarter. I said take a break.

Take a moment for yourself. Do it responsibly and within the limits that your job and life permit but do it every day.

If you can walk around your building or lobby or house or whatever during lunch, do it. Don't take your phone, don't make calls or think about work. Don't think about anything. Focus on the trees or the grass or birds. Really look at them. When is the last time you actually looked at the eyes of a bird or the shape of the leaves on a tree?

Calm your busy mind for a moment. Let your mind enjoy a bird's song or a tree's beauty.

Work is not life. It's good to work. It's good to strive to be the best you can be. We need to work, it fills our lives with purpose and meaning and we help each other by working.

The moments are few in this life. Take a few, every day, and enjoy something beautiful.

Support and attend local theater

My granddaughter is in a local production of 'Annie'. It's her first play. She's not Annie or one of the chorus, she's just an orphan in the background. She gets to sit on the stairs during some of the songs and do some singing and little 'mopping stuff around'. It's frikkin' amazing!

One look at her on the stage and I start weeping. I'm 61, sitting in the church sanctuary with 200 other parents, grandparents, friends and neighbors, bawling at these adorable girls singing 'It's a hard knock life!'. It's wonderful.

The insanity here is that there isn't a full time, free (OK, I'll help pay for it with taxes and donations ;-) theater group in every town and village in the world. Places where boys and girls can get together and learn more social 'skill's in a month than some do in a lifetime.

Things like:
Cooperation: how can we make this scene come alive with all of us on the stage?
Acceptance: I'm not Annie for this production but I'd like to keep learning and tryout for a bigger part next time.
Humility: Oops, I messed that up. I'm sorry. I'll get it right next time.
Skill: Last year I was an OK orphan. This year I want to try it again and be better!
Experience: I don't know if I can sing well enough but I'm going to try something new!
Patience: I've been sitting here ALL DAY, waiting for my cue, but that's OK. We need to get this scene right.
Applause: I really like this feeling, I'm going to be in another play!

OK, so once again I over simplify things, but you get the idea. If you didn't get a chance to be in a high school production, or you simply didn't want to, it's OK. You can now. I was too shy, so I did the lighting for the plays. It was a blast. But I wish that I had overcome my shyness and tried out for SOMETHING.

Your homework assignment:
Check the local schools, city government, churches, etc and find a couple of theater groups that need help.
Maybe you can just contribute a few dollars.
Maybe you can volunteer to be an usher or greeter.
Maybe you can help build sets, or make costumes or be in the orchestra.
Maybe you can finally direct! (You know you've always wanted to try it ;0)
Go find a group that suits you. Get involved. Help.

You would be insane for not having fun.

Laugh a little more...

For me it's watching anything with Red Skelton, Steve Allen, Robin Williams, Billy Crystal or Bob Hope.

It's playing games with my family and making terrible puns, by them as well as by me.

It's watching Victor Borge at the piano. Or Tim Conway try to crackup Harvey Corman and Carol Burnett.

Robin Williams, Whoopie Goldberg and Billy Crystal in the Comic Relief shows.

These people and acts make me laugh in a genuine, deep, uninhibited way. They make me happy. There are times when my mouth hurts from laughing so much. My ribs ache. And I feel GOOD!

It's a mystery to me that I don't watch them more often. That we all don't spend at least a few moments, every day, laughing. Smiling at life.

It's not that hard, folks. And the benefits are life changing.

We're insane for not laughing more. It's even cheap!

Be happy, friends.

Stress in 3rd grade is nuts

While walking my 9 year old granddaughter to school last week, I got a view into her life in third grade. Remember that I'm 60+ and she's 9, I haven't had a child in elementary school for 30 some years and I that was in third grade in 1961. I'm just trying to be as fair as I can. ;-)

BUT...

I could not believe the stress she was radiating, worrying about the STAAR tests she would be taking on Tuesday and Wednesday. She was actually wringing her hands and frowning, close to tears with worry. 'I'm afraid I won't do good, Grandpa. What if I miss something and do bad. I won't get to go to 4th grade.'

This had been going on for days before that. She would go from the typical little girl bouncing off the walls, singing the latest Bieber song, happy as a lark, to frowny-faced anxiety, whining 'I don't think I can do well on the test. What if I don't remember everything?'

The insanity I see here is multi fold.
1. She's 9 years old. She should NOT be THAT worried about a test that is a review of past learning.
2. She's 9 years old. She should NOT be THAT stressed about school academics of ANY kind.
3. She's 9 years old. She SHOULD be enjoying school. Enjoying her friends, her teachers, recess and of course fretting over tests. Fretting. NOT stressing. Huge difference.

Now, I've wondered if it was just her and not the rest of the kids, so we've checked with other parents and talked to kids and teachers. Nope, it's most of the kids. They are so worried about these tests that school is more like my office at work than a fun, peaceful, positive learning environment.

This is wrong. This is insane.

Today's homework assignment:
1. Find out why these tests are stressing out my grand kids and work to change it. I invite you to make your own assessment of these tests and how they affect your kids and grand kids.
2. Get involved with your teachers and find out how they are presenting these tests to the kids. What are they telling them to motivate them to do well.
3. Remind the children that these are 'reviews' of things they have already learned. That's how I finally got my granddaughter to relax a little.

It's insane to stress out a 9 year old about a test.

Simple feelings

I've been walking one of my granddaughters to school each morning, supposedly to save her mother from being exposed to the cold. My daughter has Scleroderma, which is aggravated by changes in temperature and cold weather. (Look up Scheroderma and see if this is a cause you can contribute resources to, please.)

I say supposedly because that's not the whole truth. I also walk JJ  to school because I enjoy it and so does she.

I hold her small hand and we talk about anything that comes to mind. And with an 8 year old, that means just about anything a young, agile mind can focus on for more than 30 seconds.

We've talked about the curse of learning multiplication tables. "Why do I have to memorized them? Do you use multiplication at work, Grandpa?" Not sure how I danced around that one, because of course I rarely use those pesky tables.

"Why does God have to make it so cold? The grass is brown because it's so cold, so why not make it summer all the time so the grass would be green and I wouldn't have to wear this coat?"

"I want to be a teacher when I grow up."

"I want to be a doctor when I grow up."

"I don't think I'd like to be a programmer, GrandPa, you work too much."

"I want to be an astronaut and go to Mars. We've already been to the moon and there isn't anything interesting there."

Talking with JJ lights a small, warm candle in my heart that glows and carries me through most of my day. Walking with her reminds me so much of walking and talking with both of my daughters at that age. The world isn't even 'the world' to her yet. It's small and comfortable. Safe and fun and mostly happy.

It's the way it should be for me, for you, and everyone.

It stopped being small when I learned about JFK's assassination in 5th grade home room at school and I saw all the teachers crying. It stopped being comfortable when a relative died and for the first time I knew what that meant. It stopped being safe when my brother crashed his car in high school, even though everyone was OK.

All these things, and others, affected my life, just like they would and do yours. I'm always trying to be positive, let the anxious feeling go, relax, be happy, be cool. And it works most of the time.

But when I'm walking with JJ, on a brisk school morning, talking about 3X3 and why birds sing, I don't have to try to be warm, safe or happy. I just am.

Exercise Time:
After dinner, sit on the floor with your child and help them make a list of 10 things that make them happy. Tape the list on your frig.

Now make your own list, and share it with them. Read your list each morning and ask yourself, 'how can I be happy today?' You can keep your list internal if you like, but there no reason you couldn't put your list next to hers.

Now, take your child to get an ice cream cone and ask her or him why dogs barks but cats meow. Then just listen. Really listen. And laugh. Be a child with your child. It's OK.