Stress in 3rd grade is nuts

While walking my 9 year old granddaughter to school last week, I got a view into her life in third grade. Remember that I'm 60+ and she's 9, I haven't had a child in elementary school for 30 some years and I that was in third grade in 1961. I'm just trying to be as fair as I can. ;-)

BUT...

I could not believe the stress she was radiating, worrying about the STAAR tests she would be taking on Tuesday and Wednesday. She was actually wringing her hands and frowning, close to tears with worry. 'I'm afraid I won't do good, Grandpa. What if I miss something and do bad. I won't get to go to 4th grade.'

This had been going on for days before that. She would go from the typical little girl bouncing off the walls, singing the latest Bieber song, happy as a lark, to frowny-faced anxiety, whining 'I don't think I can do well on the test. What if I don't remember everything?'

The insanity I see here is multi fold.
1. She's 9 years old. She should NOT be THAT worried about a test that is a review of past learning.
2. She's 9 years old. She should NOT be THAT stressed about school academics of ANY kind.
3. She's 9 years old. She SHOULD be enjoying school. Enjoying her friends, her teachers, recess and of course fretting over tests. Fretting. NOT stressing. Huge difference.

Now, I've wondered if it was just her and not the rest of the kids, so we've checked with other parents and talked to kids and teachers. Nope, it's most of the kids. They are so worried about these tests that school is more like my office at work than a fun, peaceful, positive learning environment.

This is wrong. This is insane.

Today's homework assignment:
1. Find out why these tests are stressing out my grand kids and work to change it. I invite you to make your own assessment of these tests and how they affect your kids and grand kids.
2. Get involved with your teachers and find out how they are presenting these tests to the kids. What are they telling them to motivate them to do well.
3. Remind the children that these are 'reviews' of things they have already learned. That's how I finally got my granddaughter to relax a little.

It's insane to stress out a 9 year old about a test.

Simple feelings

I've been walking one of my granddaughters to school each morning, supposedly to save her mother from being exposed to the cold. My daughter has Scleroderma, which is aggravated by changes in temperature and cold weather. (Look up Scheroderma and see if this is a cause you can contribute resources to, please.)

I say supposedly because that's not the whole truth. I also walk JJ  to school because I enjoy it and so does she.

I hold her small hand and we talk about anything that comes to mind. And with an 8 year old, that means just about anything a young, agile mind can focus on for more than 30 seconds.

We've talked about the curse of learning multiplication tables. "Why do I have to memorized them? Do you use multiplication at work, Grandpa?" Not sure how I danced around that one, because of course I rarely use those pesky tables.

"Why does God have to make it so cold? The grass is brown because it's so cold, so why not make it summer all the time so the grass would be green and I wouldn't have to wear this coat?"

"I want to be a teacher when I grow up."

"I want to be a doctor when I grow up."

"I don't think I'd like to be a programmer, GrandPa, you work too much."

"I want to be an astronaut and go to Mars. We've already been to the moon and there isn't anything interesting there."

Talking with JJ lights a small, warm candle in my heart that glows and carries me through most of my day. Walking with her reminds me so much of walking and talking with both of my daughters at that age. The world isn't even 'the world' to her yet. It's small and comfortable. Safe and fun and mostly happy.

It's the way it should be for me, for you, and everyone.

It stopped being small when I learned about JFK's assassination in 5th grade home room at school and I saw all the teachers crying. It stopped being comfortable when a relative died and for the first time I knew what that meant. It stopped being safe when my brother crashed his car in high school, even though everyone was OK.

All these things, and others, affected my life, just like they would and do yours. I'm always trying to be positive, let the anxious feeling go, relax, be happy, be cool. And it works most of the time.

But when I'm walking with JJ, on a brisk school morning, talking about 3X3 and why birds sing, I don't have to try to be warm, safe or happy. I just am.

Exercise Time:
After dinner, sit on the floor with your child and help them make a list of 10 things that make them happy. Tape the list on your frig.

Now make your own list, and share it with them. Read your list each morning and ask yourself, 'how can I be happy today?' You can keep your list internal if you like, but there no reason you couldn't put your list next to hers.

Now, take your child to get an ice cream cone and ask her or him why dogs barks but cats meow. Then just listen. Really listen. And laugh. Be a child with your child. It's OK.

TV is so under utilized!

It's in virtually every household and yet we fill its programming with so little. Hey, relax, I'm not slamming Ellen, or Dr. Phil or game shows. TV is an entertainment venue, so be entertained if you can live your life productively as well.

What needs a boost are the educational opportunities. Daily, main stream, programs that apply to high school, college, trade and arts, everything! The 'daily' and 'main stream' are the parts I see we're missing. We have specialty programs like Nova, Disney, college PBS, etc. And I love these programs. They inform as well as entertain.

But where are the structured, relevant, productive, useful programs? Ones that improve your everyday work life. Or your everyday emotional life?

And think of the contests we could have! Want a couple of million high school kids hitting the history books for a month? Hold a contest where the top 10 winners get to meet the President! And the President signs 'atta boy' certificates for all who complete the course.

Paper exercise!

Write down 10 'courses' you would like take if they were free. Yes, 10. Spend some time on this; make the courses meaningful to you. If you always wanted to learn Japanese, write it down. Want to learn how the brain works, write it down. Interested in how a city government runs, write it down.

1. You'll be taking them at night, 30 minutes to an hour, Monday through Friday.
2. Course information is available at your local library and/or post office or through the mail and Internet.
3. Your input helps determines what courses are created and viewed. Want a course in US Presidential history, send it in.
4. Keep your own damn notebook and articles. You are a grownup, take responsibility for these classes and track them yourself.
5. If you 'want' to learn, you will. If you only 'wish' to learn, you're wasting every one's time. (Sorry, soapbox just showed up and I had to say it ;-)
6. You take it from here, there's so much more we could do.

Explaining the universe

All should have the right to explore the meaning of the universe, without fear of persecution or harm from your fellow man.

Every life is precious. Every mind is a wonderment that should be allowed to experience that life to the fullest it is capable.

The sheer joy of experiencing a thunderstorm for the first time as a child can be felt again if we allow it.

The sunrise on a cold November morning in Colorado, where the air is so cold it burns your nose as you breathe it in, can fill your heart with peace.

How you explain the thunderstorm and the sunrise is irrelevant. That you are allowed to explain them, as it makes sense to you, defines humanity.

Study the philosophies and religions of the world. Get to know how they came to be and what they really mean to those who follow them. Perhaps they all point to common ground.

We live in this universe together.

Reading and writing must be a universal right

One of the insanities in our world is that not everyone learns how to read and write. Cultural barriers, physical barriers and a lack of world wide support for the written word are slowly changing for the better but it's always too slow.

I don't advocate forcing everyone to learn their ABCs, I'm advocating everyone have the same chance, the same access to reading about the this world and all the other worlds in our combined imaginations. The same access to add to that vast collection of human experience.

If you know someone who can't read or write, help them. It's hard to set this as the highest priority in someone's life but it should be as high as possible. Reading and writing open the doors of life in so many ways.

Here it comes: paper exercise time.

In your 'Insanity Notebook' ( you did put all these exercises in a notebook, right? ;-) add this one, and yes I realize it's slightly ironic to do and exercise about reading and writing in a notebook.

Look up three places in the world where you could help spread the gift of the written word. I would suggest the Red Cross and checking with religious outreach programs. Use your imagination, you'll find a way.

College isn't for everyone

Somewhere along the line we've muddied the waters in education where it applies to 'higher' education.

Everyone should have access to education beyond the 12th grade. If you can pay for it, you will. If you cannot pay for it society should help you. With the agreement that you will pay society back as you are able.

College is not the only educational access that will help you lead a rewarding life. It certainly is one path that you should consider. Everyone should have access to career mentors that know you and can help guide you with the right educational choices.

If you want to be a vet or doctor or a judicial professional you're going to need a college education. That's great. It's wonderful. Go get 'em, Bucko!

If you want to be writer there are classes and even online course to help.

If you want to be in the trades, like a machinist or engine mechanic or potter, you can get an education in trade schools. And you can definitely have a happy and rewarding career.

You want to farm or ranch? There are farmers and ranchers who will gladly show you the ropes. Roll up your sleeves and find a few. You'll hit it off with the 'right' one and you're off.

It's a simple point. Never stop learning. Never stop pushing your talents a little further, explore a little further. Part of what makes life worth living is looking for and finding new ways to enjoy your job and your life.

College is one way and it's a great way. But it isn't the only way. Explore, examine the alternatives.

Here we go with my 'on paper' exercise ;-)

Write down 5 'jobs' you want. Really want, not wish. A wish is a dream you know will never happen but is fun to think about. A want is something you can and will accomplish if you set your mind to it.

For each job draw a picture of you at this job. Simple stick figures are fine, don't get hung up on the details. Next to 'you' draw some of the 'things' you will produce/conceive/achieve at this job. When you have all 5 done, sit back with a cup of tea and daydream about each one. Pick the one you like best.

Then find out what education you need to get to that picture.

Go. Explore. Dream.

Health care

If humanity commits itself to finding the causes and prevention of disease we could all live long and healthy lives.

We've made some marvelous advances and there are more in the wings. But disease research is still a 'for profit' endeavour for the most part and that's holding us back.

This is a common 'theme' for me when I'm contemplating life in general. Humans are capable of amazing leaps of advancement but most of it comes when there is money to be made.

Yes I know not all and I'm so very grateful for the not-for-profit research you are doing. Thank you.

For all the rest of the research that is only done because of the return on investment, I worry for us. Why do we risk only for monetary reward?

Why do we seek answers only when the answers come with power in some form. Money, status, recognition.

Draw a picture of a University in your town that is dedicated purely to the goal of eradicating disease. Add the different buildings and what research is performed there. What is the study list, who would teach there, who would speak.

Now draw the connecting lines to all the Universities in all the cities of all the world, sharing and pushing us up out of our lethargy.

What a marvelous picture you've drawn! Well done!